Our brains are hardwired to form relationships. In order to have a healthy relationship, specifically a romantic one, it’s important to recognize what a healthy relationship consists of. It isn’t just about having to love yourself first (although you should love yourself), but about how you can be a better version of yourself for the other person who is investing their time in you, in the relationship.
A good healthy relationship can build your self-esteem, improve your mental and emotional health and help you live a fuller life. So, it’s no surprise that a bad relationship can affect your physical health too. I, for one, can become extremely skinny if I’m in an unhealthy relationship because that is was emotional stress will do to my body.
Here are some points you should take into consideration when evaluating your relationship:
Your Mental State
Both parties involved in a relationship have to be in the right state of mind in order for the relationship to lead on a positive note. On the flip side, if only one person in the relationship is in a bad spot, be understanding, be there for them, be patient. We all have bad days and we all eventually get over them. Give them the time they need to cool down. For the sufferer, you must seek medical attention if this is not the aftermath of a bad day. If you suffer from depression, or anxiety, seek help. You’re not the only one suffering, so is your relationship.
Communicate, Don’t Assumptionate
Communication is the single most important factor in a relationship, after we’ve established that the mental states are in check. Conflicts are inevitable, even in the best of relationships, so it’s important to keep those lines of communication open. The biggest problem is that most people aren’t prepared to deal with the problems they have at hand and talking helps us ease into it.
If talking doesn’t resolve the issue, have a third party join to mediate the conversation. Sometimes we think everyone else is the problem and sometimes we need someone to tell us, we ARE the problem. Counseling, or a mutual friend wiling to lend an ear, can definitely help.
Avoid The Bad Relationships
So you’re considered mentally sane, and you have a doctorate in psychology, so your communication skills are top (really stretching it out here), but for some reason, your significant other is really weighing you down. You feel insecure, sad, you feel like you’re at a standstill in life and absolutely nothing goes your way. You bank on the idea of, ‘we’ll see what happens,’ as a way of making you feel as though you have zero control of your current situation and are hopeful for the future. Wrong. You have full control of the relationship you are in and if you don’t have children, there is also a lot less to consider.
I’ve always wondered why people stay in relationships that make them feel less than what they are. No matter how much you do or don’t love yourself, wouldn’t you rather someone who makes you feel good, who makes you smile, who you know you can count on? I dated someone for almost a decade who served no purpose besides carrying the title boyfriend—it’s a sh*t feeling and there’s no security in that.
In the end, every relationship requires a lot of effort and attention. Some days these requirements will come automatically and some days you will have to work a little harder. If you go beyond what comes naturally to you, the relationship should blossom and your hard work should definitely pay off.
Peace & Love,
Anna & Nishia